What a Monad Wants

I'm at a crossroads in my life. I don't just mean that I have a choice between interesting career opportunities, though I may. I also don't just mean that I have a choice between moving to the East or the West coasts, though I may. For the first time in my life, I am free to choose what I want, and now I need to figure out what exactly that is.

( This ended up rather long... )